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Jayne TV

by Gingerr Rust

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1.
Distraction 01:26
Imma runaway Maybe get hit by a train Mess around and sleep all day At the party with no jacket crooked smile on my face If you're tired then I'm drained Head so hot that I fried all my brains You can't tell but I- all day I'm suppressing It's depressing Gone and catch my fade Cause you don't tell me nothing They like your heart never seen It always do your own thing Why don't you just let me in Seems like your always on the move I got some questions for you I said I'm not in the mood Nothing but a Distraction Time I'm passing Just waiting for a reaction I'm lit don't you forget If it's not on my mind then I guess it didn't happen Light as a feather Under the weather I'm lying said I've never been better Distracted by sensory pleasure
2.
Tia wants to buy a gun So we’ll see you tomorrow No point in trying to run I’ve surpassed the pain and the sorrow Now that everything is done You can’t retrace it But you know what you did is wrong And you might as well face it All the pain and the shame I’ve buried it away My memory is stained I said wait stop no And all the tears I should have cried Suppressed them all inside Fury’s my alibi I’m not going to hold it back no more Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl Let the man hunt begin Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl I’m coming down with all of my friends And we’re right at your fucking door Leave you lying on the floor saying Wait stop no Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl I was Jayne the Virgin Jayne the Girl I am Cause If my body’s not safe then neither is yours No point in locking up cause we’re bussing down all of your doors Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl Me and my girls yeah they’re coming for you Strapped up my boys yeah they’re coming for you Because its in my head Can’t take it back when I close my eyes Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl If my -If my-oh if my If my body’s not safe then neither is yours No point in locking up cause were bussing down all of your doors Jayne the origin Jayne the girl I was Still I am Cause my body’s not safe so neither is yours No point in locking up Cause we’re bussing down all of your doors Jayne the virgin Jayne the girl
3.
6th & Spring 02:00
Gazing out the sun’s peering in Thinking back on the things that I did Reconstructing the world in my head Soft brown can’t articulate it Drag me on the concrete tell me not to be complacent I fake it I smile but I’m faking I fake it when I smile When I-I-I Well since I guess I have the time I’ll state what’s on my mind purge out the rotten things inside Waiting on my ride Stranded but that’s fine Sifting through the things that I despise I close the shades above my eyes I’ve been thinking bout it I’ve been thinking bout it Came to the conclusion nostalgia is depression man I’m never at rest Maybe its for the best I need this weight upon my chest I’m not even 21 yet and yeah this all feels like a test Pen to the paper yeah I know that I’m a mess in distress Hazy life I’m pixelated like a twitter header You want in and I just need to get my shit together First, at least Fuck it I’ve been clinging to the old me Clinging The old me I’m just clinging The old I’m just clinging To the The- the -the-the
4.
I've been having these really weird dreams In an instant I'm fully immersed and the other I seize to exist Something about them feels so honest So safe here in this fantasy In this dream Until my subconscious takes over Give into me Just give into me Give into me You too can feel this synergy You are spiraling floating Tokyo drifting just strolling Zodiac dozing in and out of a Sleep Step on up baby grab my hand Not safe but I don't care Get in the car We're going fast We're gonna crash Cause its my dream and I do what I want in the car I have a laugh Look in the bag Inside it's gold And I see the red lights They're flashing behind us Everything it feels so real Accessory to a crime I think no I got to go (go) I'm on the run I gotta go (go) I'm on the run I gotta go (go) I'm on the go I'm on the run (on the run) I got to go (go) I'm on the run Gotta go (go) I'm on the run Gotta go (go) I got to go I'm on the run I go to go (go) I gotta go Gotta go (go go go) Cause I'm on the run I got to go (go go go) I'm on the run I'm the run I got to go (go go go) I'm on the run I got to go Fearful on my back I take a deep breath of air Feel the resurgence through my body but I'm pretty sure I'm awake I can't move I can panic Or I can revel in this moment of static uncertainty It's up to you Wide awaking But my body's still stuck in this dream I try to shake it Cause I no longer wish to sleep I'm levitating Transported back in my dreams Nothing's at all how it seems Spiraling floating Tokyo drifting just strolling Zodiac dozing in and out of a Sleep Step on up baby grab my hand Not safe but I don't care Get in the car We're going fast We're going to crash Cause it's my dream and I do what I want in the car I have a laugh Look in the bag Inside it's gold And I see the red lights They're flashing behind us Everything it feels so real Accessory to a crime I think no I gotta go I'm on the run I got to go I'm on the run I got to go I'm on the go I'm on the run I got to go Running a lot Running a lot Running a lot I got to go Cause I'm on the run Running a lot Cause I'm running I got to go I gotta go
5.
Ponder up all you have to say Flame engulfed that’s the game were playing Lips all full like a Sunday plate Eyes locked across the room Tell me what you’re thinking Suppress the weight of your air Lay your materials there instinct or impulse who really cares His residuals over there and there and there and there and there It’s funny think its not Nose filling up with snot Just look at what you got (got got) It’s funny think it’s not (you think its funny) Nose filling up with snot (you think you’re so damn funny) Just look at what you got (got got) (but its coming later on)
6.
I wish I could change oh yes I could And rearrange some things oh yes I could I wish I could change oh yes I could And rearrange some things Yes please I’ve been thinking bout distance It’s taking up my time It’s 3 am and I’m stuck with the thoughts in my mind Like what’s the difference This happens every time If i keep on thinking I could kiss my mind goodbye Theres no way around it And that’s just how it seems Keeping me captive I can’t escape reality in my dreams It’s funny how I cry In the middle of the night Under twinkly lights Alone Alone again I relish in my waisted life How I regret that night Or that one time Alone alone again Sad girl Yeah Yeah it’s sad girl hours Depression is my super power I’m just running running running on e (on e, on e) Enjoying the pain of a life on repeat I’m so sad I wish I could change oh yes I could And rearrange some things oh yes I could I wish I could change yes I could And rearrange some things Yes please
7.
I was just thinking of this It’s funny how you always say that I don’t pick up my phone But when I hit you back you don’t pick up
8.
Something (I hear) But what you saying (so clear) It’s always something (I hear) but what you saying (so clear) Say your prayers Cause its gone be a long day Sitting in the shade under the sun bom-ba-bum-bum Tell em what what I don’t gotta say nothing you would Feet like bricks on the way to the chapel Hot like sauna Call me young had though All silence No banter Sick of bending backwards for you bastards I’m the bad guy call me lil jacker Out here dancing like Mick Jagger I’m the bad guy call me lil jacker Bout to clap back on this bih like a bad girl I heard about it But so what I doubt it It’s my life I’m doubting That your hans around it Something (I hear) But what you saying (So clear) It’s always something (I hear) but what you saying (so clear) Say your prayers Cause its gone be a long day Sitting in the shade under the sun bom-ba-bum-bum Tell em what what I don’t gotta say nothing you would Feel like bricks on the way to the chapel Hot like sauna Call me young had tho All silence No banter Sick of bending backwards for you bastards I’m the bad guy call me lil jacker Out here dancing like Mick Jagger Bout to clap back on this big like bad girl I heard about it But so what I doubt it It’s my life I’m counting That your hands around it
9.
86% 04:06
Ooh I changed your name in my phone just to make it work And it did just a little bit I told myself you ain’t shit just to ease the hurt And it did just a tintsy bit But no matter what I do Can’t stop thinking bout you I don’t know what it is Tell me what I gotta do Just to Get over it Me and my high friends hit the club I threw back a shot and now I’m good Ooh Gonna get over it Called my girl Cause he’s here Over there In the chair In the cut Sipping something Fuck he’s staring now It was then Everything Memories Flooding in I begin Taking notes of all my recall Cause he’s so nonchalant my ass Kicked him to the grass Praying for this booty mass It’s in my past So I leave it in my past Leave it in my past Leave that shit up in my past aye But he don’t wanna do it I told you baby if you bout it gone and prove it I pick and choose call it exclusive Plus i’m that bitch so if i say it I’ma do it aye Take the upper hand I’m moving one up Living good Feeling well All the way up I told his hating ass shut-up I got cha nose haters They can’t smell the come up aye I’m a big girl Always use the big stall I like my hair long And really big balls Young venusian yeah I’ll romance your pants off Costco fan I’m yelling Kirkland bitch not Voss Cut nigga dirty nails I told him get lost My parents split but yo shoutout the pairs Rick Ross Copper in my cervix I’m a rebel with a damn cause At’ing all you dingy politicians you can get lost Aye aye aye Aye aye aye Aye Aye Okay I know you bitches hungry but my asshole 86 Reaching all my goals you sucking plethoras of dicks Started black and white fuck up your psyche Call it mixed Trina reconvene but heres my ass give it a kiss Cause I got the pretty ass face with the back fat I’m on a mission best bet that I won’t text back Slipped and called me baby I said stop let’s correct that And while I’m talking shit You so dusty like ass-crack Uhh okay I’m done All up on me like Mary Like I birthed his only son Yeah the words you spit They smell like shit Your vocal needs some gum Peeped you feenin I was dreaming Yo pass me the fork ya done bitch

about

Jayne TV has helped to heal me in a major way. These lyrics first started as voice memos, notes I would write on receipt paper at work, and random entries in a journal. Most of them recounted thoughts I couldn't get out of my head like my documented attempts of astral projection, me processing my sexual assault, "feeling sad and going out more", and literally anything else that came to mind. Writing is my way of getting stuff off of my chest, so this is kind of an audio diary. Essentially, it is a time capsule encompassing the many moments that shaped who I was at 18-20. The album is a freeze frame on my perspective for me to look back on later. Creating and recording it all helped me to feel deeper as a person because it helped me process a lot of the pain that I was suppressing. Making this album was therapy for me. I was able to kind of purge, get all of it out, lay it down, and just let go. I look at this body of work as the starting point of my journey to self-love and self-awareness.

credits

released March 27, 2020

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Gingerr Rust Los Angeles, California

Aloof from the confines of genre, Gingerr Rust blends RnB/Soul, Jazz, and Bedroom Pop seemingly effortlessly to create an intoxicating mix of unique fuzzy melodic sounds that demand to be heard beyond the walls of her bedroom studio (“Distraction’,“6th & Spring”.) Her inventive sound keeps you in a constant state of anticipation as you never know what to expect next (“Tokyo Drift”, “86%”.) ... more

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